Why purpose rarely comes first

I often hear a version of this: Harvard kids going into consulting or finance is a waste, they should go straight into social impact. I understand the instinct. I also think it misreads how clarity actually arrives.

Most people do not start with clarity. They start with curiosity, uncertainty, or a need for external validation. And that may be a necessary part of the arc, not a detour from it.

Many high achievers are not as solid as they appear, neither in their skills nor in their sense of self. They have succeeded in structured environments with clear markers of success. That is not the same as knowing who you are, what drives you, or how you want to contribute. What they are sure of is what feels rewarding: structure, status, and optionality. Consulting, finance, and big tech offer all three. These are not only prestigious paths. They are the certain ones, for building skills, financial independence, and room to explore.

You cannot really teach someone to skip their own self-discovery. Early career moves are rarely about purpose. They are about trying things, building confidence, and learning what fits. Telling someone to bypass prestige and jump straight to purpose is like telling a teenager to choose a partner on character alone before they have ever dated. It sounds wise, and it skips the process that makes the wisdom real.

Rushing has its own failure mode. Purpose without skills tends to stall. There is little more frustrating than working with someone who talks about changing the system but cannot write a clear memo or finish a simple task. Too idealistic to execute, too inexperienced to lead, they get stuck.

So how does clarity actually emerge? Usually, prestige loses its shine on its own. The questions get sharper. Who am I really serving. What do I stand for. What kind of work makes me come alive. When a person has the space to sit with those questions, purpose stops being a label borrowed from someone else and becomes a choice rooted in self-awareness.

We cannot force anyone to begin with purpose. We can give them the space to reflect, and the time to earn the right to choose.