Better questions make better career advice

To get better career advice, stop asking "what did you do?" and start asking "how did you think?"

Following my university career counselor's advice, I spent my last two years in college reaching out to alumni for career guidance.

The result? Confusion, frustration, and a dent in my self-confidence.

The problem: most alumni I contacted, though successful in their own right, had vastly different backgrounds and interests from mine. I struggled to relate, connect, and apply the advice I received.

It wasn't their fault. Alumni and other casual advisors weren't responsible for tailoring their advice to my unique situation. Instead, it was up to me to recognize that someone else's decisions align with their goals and circumstances, not necessarily mine.

So, what's the solution?

The ideal approach is to look for role models who share your background, values, and goals, and follow their footsteps. Listen to many, but follow selectively.

But what if, like me, you do not have access to the right role model?

The key lies in shifting your focus. Instead of taking advice at face value, dive into the "why" and "how" behind it. Understand their thought process and adapt it to your own circumstances.

If I could go back, I'd tell my younger self to ask better questions, questions that reveal frameworks and decision-making processes, not just outcomes.

For example: instead of "What attracts you to this role or industry?" ask "How does it align with your broader career goals? What challenges or misalignments have you faced?"

Instead of "What made you successful?" ask "Why did you choose this approach? Where was it most effective, and where did it fall short?"

Instead of "What should I do?" ask "If you were in my shoes, how would you approach this decision?"

Why does this matter?

It's tempting to rely on stories or simple advice. But real insights, clarity, and growth come from the hard work of critically analyzing someone's perspective and identifying what works for you.